Pull of the Succubus

Interesting demo! Here are some thoughts off the top of my head.

The artwork and music are great. Julie's sprite is attractive, unique and expressive, and the background and music track set the tone for the demo nicely. My only suggestion for the presentation would be the text style and colours; the default Ren'Py font is a little plain and doesn't match the style of the artwork, and the text on the menus is difficult to read due to the colours used. I'd also suggest using different coloured text for the characters' names, to more easily differentiate who's speaking.

Writing-wise, it's an immediately interesting premise, and the darkly humorous tone is established quickly and effectively. The identity of the main character (being vague so as not to spoil it) is also unique, although the demo is too brief to give it much impact.

I'm tempted to say that a little more setup before Julie begins to speak might work well. Perhaps a slow fade between the title screen and the first scene to convey the idea of "waking up", and a little narration of the character looking around the room and trying to remember what happened could ground us more in the moment, and might give Julie's ensuing exposition more impact.

This is a great start and I'm really keen to see more from you!